The difficulties of a much needed #MeToo movement in Pakistan have come into stark relief over the past week. The tide of vitriol and recriminations that came in the wake of Meesha Shafi’s allegations have left many of us reeling [see article below]. It doesn’t feel so much like support for Ali Zafar, as it does an attempt to make an example of Meesha Shafi for threatening the status quo.

What we saw strewn across all forms of media over the last week is far from healthy, and increasingly the norm. Victim shaming, ascribing ulterior motives to the accuser, character statements in favour of the accused, anger directed at the victim for embarrassment to the wife. With every tweet and Facebook post, the perpetrator was allowed to recede into the background and the accuser was pilloried in the public square. That so many have clambered to silence Meesha is an indication of how real the fear that someone we know or love may have behaved in a similarly abhorrent manner.

And therein lies the rub. We know we have a problem in Pakistan. Whilst women’s rights groups have been active in Pakistan since at least the 80’s, a sudden uptick was noticed once the fog of war lifted, and news of terrorism finally gave way to accounts of increasingly cruel and callous treatment of women, children and minorities. Young women flock to existing women’s rights organisation swelling their ranks. Many formed their own in response to deprivations like the dwindling right to public spaces from which Girls at Dhabas was born. The government has also channelling resources into protecting women’s rights. We now have Federal and Provincial Ombudsman’s for sexual harassment cases, and Punjab has introduced — albeit rather watered down — The Punjab Protection Against Violence Act in 2016.

It seems the only demographic insulated from dramatic and lasting change is the so-called ‘elite’. With the insidious othering of victims of abuse and harassment as coming from “unenlightened”, “poor” and “uneducated backgrounds- further reinforced by the liberal elite claim that we need to focus on the suffering of the poor, the elite remain cocooned within a climate of denial. With class connotations firmly in place it becomes easier for elite men to perpetrate domestic violence, harassment, and sexual abuse; assured that the shame of the victim will allow them to escape accountability. It’s an artifice that hides the abuse of power and privilege under a veneer of respectability, and should an elite man face a challenge to his behaviour well he can rely on his peers to close rank and cast out the victim as somehow lacking respectability. It is why you see more and more elite men fully vested in the failure of the #MeToo movement in Pakistan.

It is now incumbent on the rest of us to listen to women who complain of sexual harassment and reserve judgement. And for those who might find themselves on the receiving end of such an allegation: I hope you have the good graces to accept your wrong doing and face the consequences . . . like a man

I needn’t mention how dire the need for reform is in every sector of society. If we introspect for just a moment, we will see multiple instances of this abuse of power played out in our own lives. I myself spent half my 20’s in employment in London and the other half in Lahore. Of the three positions I held in Lahore, I was sexually harassed at two. In London, not once. My career as a lawyer in Lahore was severely disrupted when I was forced out of my place of employment after relentless sexual harassment. My then boss Ali Sibtain Fazli, failed to take any steps to protect me from the unwanted attention of an associate at the firm, and after a particularly harrowing incident, my husband intervened, telling Mr Fazli how he let me down and escorted me out of the office, never to return. I have never spoken to that associate again, and it makes me furious to this day that my career suffered for HIS misbehaviour.

I forgave Mr Fazli (which in retrospect he never actually sought), under the assumption that the incident had left an impact. His recent decision to represent Ali Zafar — his son in law- in a defamation case against Meesha makes me suspect I was mistaken in my assumption.

It is no coincidence that I, now in my 40’s, work for myself. I have created a women-friendly space in my business more out of necessity than not. It hasn’t always worked as I hoped. The same power dynamics reared their ugly head a couple of years ago when I was physically assaulted by the police on my ex-landlord, Amer Jamshed’s instructions. Yet another elite man exercising his privilege and power to intimidate. Unsurprisingly, when I shared my experience with feminists (many of whom come from the elite) I was met with resignation rather than outrage.

The deafening silence of women’s rights groups in the aftermath of the Meesha Shafi case (with perhaps the notable exception of GAD’s) is however unforgivable. Every day that passes without a collective statement of support for a victim suffering this level of abuse for speaking out, ensures that more and more women will choose not to speak out in the future. It goes beyond feeling helpless, now you are actively hurting the movement with your silence.

So where does that leave the rest of us? Those of us wishing to speak out fear becoming a cautionary tale. And those who dare not speak, now lose hope of ever doing so. And what of those who know the accused? Considering the scale of the problem this is now a possibility we each need to reconcile ourselves with in order to heal and grow.

When the Friday Times asks us to walk in her shoes in its op-ed, it was a pointed reminder to men that they need to do more. Reform starts with some introspection and the emotional labour needed to analyse your past behaviour from the point of view of a woman. Rather than claiming cluelessness and opting out of dealing with women, examine your behaviour and understand it carries consequences for others. Some men- albeit very few for now- have begun to acknowledge and apologise on social media for past indiscretions, accepting that doing so does not absolve them from the consequences. It is now incumbent on the rest of us to listen to women who complain of sexual harassment/abuse and reserve judgement. And for those who might find themselves on the receiving end of such an allegation, I hope you have the good graces to accept your wrongdoing and face the consequences . . . like a man.

Aysha Raja

* Published in Daily Times, April 29^th 2018:
https://dailytimes.com.pk/233743/metoo-and-how-pakistans-elite-is-in-denial/

* The writer is the owner of The Last Word books.

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Post-Metoo: The ugly backlash after Meesha Shafi spoke out

If the “F word” – feminism or the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes – is more offensive than the “F word” and its violent imposition on women in the form of assault, sexual harassment, and everything in between, let’s look at Meesha Shafi’s allegation that Ali Zafar sexually harassed her from a sanitised, minus feminism-or-whatever-feminism-means-to-you, point of view.

Shafi alleged that Ali Zafar sexually harassed her in a tweet on April 19, writing, “I have been subjected, on more than one occasion, to sexual harassment of a physical nature at the hands of a colleague from my industry: Ali Zafar.” Since Shafi broke the internet with her tweet, and although Zafar responded and tweeted he will address Shafi’s allegation through the courts of law “rather than to lodge any allegations here [on Twitter],” social media and the media at large has become a battleground for Team Meesha and Team Ali.

In the ensuing fog of a media war between friends, foes, fans, and feminists, all of the lines and definitions of each of the above have been compromised, and a spiral downward to the depths of misogyny has been revealed as the overarching trend.

Many on social media have used the usual stereotypes against women. Shafi is wearing something in which a little bit of skin is showing so she’s ‘shameless’. Shafi is standing next to Zafar in an old photograph so ‘she must have asked for it [harassment]’. Shafi is unhappy with Zafar because she is a jilted ‘lover’. Many on social media may not be accustomed to what some in Shafi and Zafar’s elite are used to – a little bit more freedom of adornment, and a little less hesitation between women and men who are not ‘mehrams’ – one should not jump from Point A to Point “Standing next to you so you’re allowed to harass/rape/touch/assault me”.

Social media’s usual suspects are not the only ones baying for blood. Zafar is a bonafide celebrity beloved and ensconced snugly in the elite. He is not only a singer like Shafi, but has acted in Bollywood where he has made a name for himself, and his link to Mumbai has increased his social standing. Zafar has been defended by men and women from the elite, including actor Maya Ali who has said she has worked with and never been sexually harassed by Zafar. Half a dozen friends, including bandmates, have agreed, but a man does not have to harass all the women in the world for allegations to stick – a half-dozen women aside from Shafi have accused Zafar of sexual harassment, including his friend Leena Ghani, alleging in a tweet “In the many years I have known Ali, he has on several occasions crossed boundaries of what is appropriate behaviour between friends… Inappropriate contact, groping, sexual comments should not fall in the grey area between humour and indecency.”

Some of the most dangerous stereotypes of women, and the sexual harassment of women have not stemmed from social media’s trolls but from its elite. Shafi is made out to be a liar by Zafar’s supporters in the elite, and of lying because of professional jealousy over a company contract.

Sexual harassment allegations are incredibly serious in the US’s #MeToo, post-Harvey Weinstein era in which individuals from Hollywood and industries across the country have spoken about sexual assault by industry bigwigs.

The stereotyping of women like Shafi as ‘money-hungry’ punishes ambitious women for competing with men, for having a sense of self-worth and asking for as much pay as male peers and by women as much as men because a number of elite, privileged Pakistanis are sometimes unable to understand how Shafi (and others like her) would make an effort if she does not ‘have’ to work or she’s able to fall back upon the men in her life. This fits neatly into the ‘ambitious women are scruple-less liars and will destroy men’ trope of yore.

Sexual harassment is also defined by the United Nations as “Unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favours, and other verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature” and further qualified as “Unwelcome Behaviour is the critical word… Therefore, sexual conduct is unwelcome whenever the person subjected to it considers it unwelcome” so what is “unwelcome” to Shafi does not have to have been “unwelcome” to you in your experience but it doesn’t lessen hers.

Shafi is said to be a ‘mature’ (read: adult) and ‘privileged’ female, and according to views across the divide between the self-avowed feminist elite and social media’s misogynist trolls, such a woman is never harassed. Any female who has walked Lahore’s streets and been manhandled in broad daylight knows otherwise. Such a statement is steeped in not only ‘male privilege’ – and ‘male privilege’ always trumps a woman even amongst equals like Shafi and Zafar – but a privilege of not suffering the indignation of harassment. And then being told you are incapable of having suffered it because of ‘privilege’. Such flawed logic would imply sexual harassment and sexual assault happens only to underage Zainabs of Pakistan – and if even a Mukhtaran Mai, let alone a Meesha, is made out to be a liar is there any hope for any of us?

And in less than a week, an allegation of sexual harassment has become a character assassination of the alleged victim. India Today has published a deeply biased article, including all anti-Shafi, pro-Zafar sources like his bandmates, her [fired] manager, his friends, and one of Zafar’s half a dozen accusers, who is insidiously made out to be a liar. And such character assassination of Shafi and not Zafar – Meesha as the ‘immoral woman’, Ali as the ‘harmless’ flirt; Meesha as ambitious, money-hungry, Ali as the self-made fellow vying to make an honest living; Meesha as the ‘liar’, Ali as the ‘man destroyed by woman’; Meesha the mother, the philanthropist, and the nuanced individual are painted by a black stroke as Ali is fleshed out in all his familial, philanthropy-loving, flawed but human colour.

Meesha Shafi may have as much to lose if not more than Zafar, whether it is endorsements or it is the indelible loss of privacy, respect, and trust as a public, beloved figure in a patriarchal society. M Sarosh Ebrahim posted on Twitter following Shafi’s allegations, “As part of Pakistan’s entertainment industry for more than a decade, I can assure you if other women in Pakistan’s entertainment industry start to come out with their stories there will be <10% men left to work with. #MeeshaShafi #AliZafar”.

The Punjab Commission on the Status of Women’s (PCSW) data on sexual harassment from Punjab’s inspector general of police includes sexual harassment cases registered under Section 509 (insulting modesty or causing sexual harassment) and Section 354 (assault/harassment or criminal force to woman with intent to outrage her modesty) of the Pakistan Penal Code. Under Section 354, 3,029 sexual harassment cases were registered where 322 cases had court proceedings, 86 individuals were convicted and 236 acquitted in 2017. The PCSW admits most women do not report sexual harassment because of a lack of evidence and the resultant lack of belief in their stories because of it.

“And in a case such as Shafi’s in which Zafar’s bandmates have said they did not witness harassment in a jam session between Shafi and Zafar where Shafi alleges she was harassed; evidence is in favour of Zafar (although his bandmates’ accounts will be looked at as leaning towards him). But if other women who have accused Zafar of sexual harassment will come forward it will make Shafi’s case stronger,” says Aliya Khan, a lawyer.

Feminism doesn’t mean we must defend a woman we believe is wrong. However, a woman alleging sexual harassment and backed by a half a dozen others alleging it by a single accused should not be dragged down by using damaging stereotypes and tropes that have wreaked havoc on justice for women for millennia. If one believes in Zafar it’s best to wait for Zafar’s ‘court of law’ defence and remain a dignified silence in the face of allegations (and allegations are often made through social media and/or unofficial channels) instead of resorting to lowest, hellish levels of misogyny and employing Pakistan’s patriarchy in saving Zafar.

Sameen Khan

Khan is a freelance journalist.

Note: The views expressed by the author do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Geo News, The News or the Jang Group

* Geo TV, Thursday Apr 26 2018 :
https://www.geo.tv/latest/192815-post-metoo-the-ugly-backlash-after-meesha-shafi-spoke-out

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