Cui Hong looks young and is still very athletic for her age. She not only taps her family’s rubber holdings but also supplements her family’s income by working on the rubber holdings of others. At the same time, she takes care of the household chores such as cooking, among a thousand and one other things she does when she is not sleeping. She makes delicious cakes and tasty Thai delicacies and she knows how to use mountain herbs for simple cures. She also tends a vegetable plot near her home and different kinds of fruit trees so that the family is never short of fruits and vegetables. Her comrades elected her as Chairperson of the Women’s Committee of the Village. Cui Hong now lives with her husband, their only daughter and her mother. She has also a grown-up son from her first husband who died in an enemy ambush. Her mother’s story will be told next week.

“People asked us if we ever regret the fact that our whole family joined the guerrilla army. It is not necessary to ask such questions now. After all, it is all over. It is not necessary to be regretful. Otherwise, people will look down on you. How can we regret when we have already come so far? We cannot undo things that have been done. The only way is to persist and continue until the end. “

Family Life

My father was arrested around 1953 because he was involved with the communist revolutionaries. He was deported to China before my younger sister was born. So I do not remember much of him. I only remember he was in prison and my mother brought me to visit him. I was crying all the time. Our home was a base for the ‘Civilian Troop’ (undercover guerrillas’ members), they used it as a communication point, even though by that time, the movement was already at its ebb. My mother suffered a lot but she is a very strong and determined person and stubborn too. That is how she could bring up so many of us. Everyone has his or her own weaknesses and strengths. I used to be very angry with my father for what he had done to my mother. I wrote him once, severely criticising his behaviour, that my mother had to do everything for the whole family. I asked him if it was fair for him to remarry in China. Now when I think back, I can see that it was also difficult for him alone there. My mother and he were forced to separate for so long. Now I think we should be more open-minded and big-hearted about these things. He never sent us any money from China, he was aging and finally, he died there - long time ago now.

Joining the Revolution because I love to sing and dance

I was still a junior high school student when the Communist Party approached me. I was studying and tapping rubber to help my family out at the same time. I was reluctant to join them at first because to join their activities, I had to travel very far but my eldest brother convinced me. I joined them because I like to sing and dance, the Party was organizing many such activities for teenagers. The Party wanted to reach out to the masses and expand the guerrilla army, so we were encouraged to sing and dance for the masses. Then we talked to the audience afterwards about revolutionary ideas and even conducted classes on Marxism and Leninism. We had performed ‘The Spring Dance’, ‘Candelight Dance’ and ‘Bamboo Dance’ during the Thai New Year and the badminton stadium where we usually performed was always full. The Thai authorities became alarmed with our success and started to monitor us. We also organized basket ball games to reach out to our communities but by this time, the authorities started to send armed guards to monitor us even at the basketball court. We knew we were in trouble.

Joining the Guerrillas

Before I became a guerrilla, I was already helping the army by bringing them food. Fighting between them and the government army often broke out near our home. We tried to stay neutral at first but before long, the situation was so polarised that we had no choice but to choose sides. Finally, the whole family went into the guerrillas’ army to avoid arrests. I was only 18 years old when I joined and stayed until the end when I became 40 years old. I learnt a lot in the army, I learnt to read and write, sew, sing and dance, even how to dig an underground tunnel. We were always in danger of being arrested. Even my grandmother was supportive of the revolution; she would buy things and cook meals for the revolutionaries. Our relatives often blamed my mother for taking the family into the mountains; actually it was not her responsibility. We wanted to go ourselves.

My first battle was in 1968 on the highway leading to Malaysia, near the Thai-Malaysian checkpoint. We were to ambush passing Malaysian army trucks and we managed to kill and wound 35 enemy soldiers. One of our comrades was killed and a few more were wounded too. I was not afraid at all of being hurt or killed, even though I was shot in the leg. I was inexperienced and did not know about battle techniques then. I was standing by the roadside and was about to run across the road in the midst of enemy crossfire when I suddenly heard a loud noise: “Pong!” beside me. Instantly, I fell to the ground. After that we had to make a quick retreat.
We had hardly anything to eat and were really starving but we still had to bring all our comrades safely back to our base after the battle. We walked for many days before we arrived. My brother had to carry me all the way. Our mission was to collect as many rifles from the enemy as possible, there were so many we could not manage to bring all with us. We were so new and inexperienced and so hungry, we nearly cried.

Comrades struck down by illness

Male comrades started to bleed in their gums and female comrades were also infected with the disease and were suffering from abnormal menstruation. We learnt later that it was septicaemia. One of our comrades was so ill he could not speak anymore, his gum kept bleeding and no matter what we asked him, he just shook his head. We were so inexperienced then, we could only give him medicine that we had with us. He died in the end at the age of 18. We had many similar tragedies. Dengue fever was another dangerous illness in the tropical rainforests caused by mosquito’s bites and it took a long time to recover.

Betong, My Home Town

It was once known as Little Yanan , the place where Chairman Mao lived and also the Little Gold Hill because of its huge rubber produce. Because of this, people are quite rich. Betong people were revolutionary, they supported and sympathised with the revolution, the people gave us food and everything. This is because the Party had educated many people and their consciousness was developed in the movement. Also because the CPM (Communist Party of Malaya) helped to chase away robbers that were terrorizing the community. In fact, the Thai-Malaysian border became a safer place to be because of CPM’s presence.

The Rectification Campaign

During the campaign, I was tied up for investigations. I was brought to an army unit deep inside the forest in Thailand. I was very confused and could not understand why the Party was doing this to me. I did not do anything wrong but no one explained why. My eldest brother was also tied up and kept in an underground bunker for days. We were fed and were not tortured, all they wanted was for us to confess but there was nothing to confess. I told them the truth. Many people were implicated in this campaign because when one person was arrested and started to implicate the others, those mentioned by him or her would also be arrested. Even after my release, we had to go through ‘criticism sessions’ just like the scenes in Cultural Revolution. My eldest brother was executed. I raised the issue with our leaders afterwards. The Party did apologize to us for their mistake and many of us were rehabilitated including my brother posthumously.

The Southbound Assault Team

We were sent southwards to Malaysia and this was the mission in which my first husband was killed. This was in 1973. We failed to reach our destination twice and only succeeded once. We only had mountain tapioca, wild potatoes for food. There were these very tiny insects we called ‘gak’ in Thai, they bit us badly. When it rained in the forest, we would be drenched and had to stay shivering wet and cold throughout the night. We were most of the time starving. We had no rice, sugar or salt for weeks. Even though by that time I was already 3 or 5 months pregnant, I was still carrying loads as heavy as 50 kg at a time. I have very good eyesight; I could spot fruits on trees, which were very far away. I know the kind of fruits just by looking at the leaves. I was with the ambush team for 10 years!

The Transport and Communication Team

I was assigned transport and communication work too. A very tough job. We had to courier weapons, money, daily necessities to the assault teams that were dispatched southwards into Malaysia. We had to carry loads as heavy as 50 to 60 kg at a time. We walked all the way from the border of Southern Thailand into the north of Malaysia, as far as the State of Perak. We walked through thick jungle and high mountains and saw only small villages, never cities.

Hunting Elephants

We hunted elephants for food. We followed their footprints. It was easy to shoot elephants because they are so huge; their big heads are easy targets. We usually shot at their ear holes. It is instant death because that is where the brain is. One day, we were looking for food and saw the elephant dung. Our comrade kicked it to check if it was new or old but we did not realise that we were being observed by the elephant, hiding behind a tree nearby. The elephant was angry that she disturbed his shit, he came out and picked her up with its trunk and then out her down gently again. It did this a few times. That girl comrade was so traumatised and bruised, she could not walk, how string and powerful the animal was! Another time, a horde of elephants came right into our camp in the middle of the night when we were all sleeping! My present husband thought at first that a big tree had collapsed. The elephants walked around us and made a lot of noise. “Bi bi ba ba!” Fortunately, they left without hurting us. The best food we had was the meat of the male elephant; I ate many elephants during my time in the jungle. Maybe more than 100 of them. One elephant was enough to feed us for 3 months. Nearly every part of the elephant is delicious; the nose, brain, stomach, intestines, feet. The skin was less tasty but we ate it anyway when we were hungry. We usually cleaned and grilled the meat before eating.

Marriage and First Child

My first husband was a Thai-Chinese; we became close because we were in the same team. I gave birth to our first son deep in the jungle. I was in such pain that a few people had to hold me down by force during labour, maybe also because I was so hungry. We had to send our baby to our sister-in-law outside the jungle. I did not think much about him because of our situation. It was a curse to be pregnant; it felt more like I had a disease and not a blessing. I was worried that my comrades would criticise me for getting pregnant. My first husband was a remarkable person, fearless and clever with great orienting skills. He was also a frontline soldier like me. He could navigate easily inside mountains and jungle and he usually brought our team to safety as we moved from camp to camp. He only needed a compass, a knife and a lighter.

His death, loss and remembering

He was killed in an enemy ambush. My husband was a compassionate and sympathetic person. We were walking ahead of our troop one day. I did not see him die but I knew he was shot. He kept shooting at the enemy until his last breath. The bullet went right through him. I could see from afar that he was in great pain and was trying to get up with the support of his rifle. After he was shot, I kept firing at the enemy like mad. I was really desperate but it was no use. Even though in the end we managed to get him and retreated quickly into the jungle, by the time we reached the hilltop, he said to me: “I cannot make it anymore. You go! Go! “He commanded me to go......I was reluctant to leave him behind but he shouted at me despite his pain. He finally shut his eyes and repeated three times in a harsh tone: “ Go! Go! Go! “. I obeyed him. Later, when my comrades and I decided to return to get him, he was still sitting there but motionless and his rifle was still in his hand but he was gone, at 28 years old. He told me the night before that he would not live beyond 30 years old and he was gone the next day. Maybe had we known first aid or had a doctor with us, he could be saved. But he tried to protect me, to save my life by sacrificing himself. My son was only three when he died.

It is difficult to say if I miss him or I simply cannot let him go. I can talk about it now, in the past, I cannot even bear to mention it. We were always together in the army, we always worked a pair. I felt I had lost something when he died. It took me a long time to get used to his absence. I felt I could hardly breathe. People asked if I dreamt about him. I said: “No.” I only freamt of him once, just before we left the jungle in 1989. But by that time, I no longer remember how he looked. Maybe you understand how I feel. His face.....I don’t; know why? I simply cannot remember. Also in my dream, it was the same, no matter how hard I try.....Is this because I think of him too much? I miss him too much? I don’t know.... “ Nowadays, I seem to remember his face again. We got married on the 14^th February 1972. How can I not be string and determined? First it was my eldest brother, then my husband...both died in the struggle. Despite all that, I remained in the movement and fulfilled all the duties I was assigned to. Two years after my husband’s death, I remarried. I gave birth to our daughter after we left the mountains. Our life has improved a lot since then.

Author’s note: I saw Cui Hong and her husband again last year in a film entitled: “The Last Communist”, made by a young Malaysian Director, Amir Muhammad. This film is banned in Malaysia but has toured all over the world in film festivals in New York, India, Singapore, Hong Kong, Taiwan and South Korea. In the film, Cui Hong’s husband whom I know to be extremely quiet, gave an interview about his experience as a guerrilla fighter too. He joined the guerrilla army much later than Cui Hong, only in the 1970s as a student activist. He is one of the youngest members now in the village and he is very skilled in electrical and construction work. Cui Hong now lives with her husband, daughter and mother. Her mother’s story will appear next week.

Cui Hong’s younger brother, who was also a guerrilla fighter, became a migrant worker in Taiwan after they had left the jungle. He was fluent in Chinese and Thai and is an asset for construction bosses in Taiwan who could not communicate with Thai migrant workers, who are mostly men working in the construction sites. However, he was dismissed when he got injured in an industrial accident and was sent home to Thailand. He continued to find work and work very hard in various jobs all over Thailand while his wife, who was also a guerrilla fighter, remains in the Betong village where Cui Hong also lives. His wife takes care of their farm and their only daughter. Cui Hong’s eldest son has become a car mechanic in the city of Yala, Southern Thailand and her daughter is now in Senior High School in Betong city. She also loves dancing and singing like her mother. Her daughter is fluent in both Thai and Chinese languages too. The daughter of Cui Hong’s younger brother studies in the same school with Cui Hong’s daughter. Both of them loved to visit my house when I was living in the village with them.